Doom

Jackie: I want one of those fire pit things for my new decking.
Me: I already bought you one, it's still in the box in the shed.
Jackie: Oh yeah. I could put that fire pit thing in the shed on my new decking!

Eyelash

OMFG - my lickle baby Alby was having a sniff of me, and he pulled out an eyelash! It didn't hurt but I was shocked! I looked around and he was sitting there looking at me with a single eyelash on his paw!

Cross trainer

Cross trainer... Free
Petrol to collect it... £5
Hours spent dissassembling and repairing computer...Free
Air after 5 mins & 30 calories spent using it... Priceless

Got cross trainer, fitted in Micra, completely dissassembled and repaired electrical circuitry & PCB of onboard computer so it shows distance/time/speed/calories. Tightened and oiled all joints, check brake cable, tightened all nuts. Easy peasy.
Tried to use the damn thing - f*cked! I am way unfit!

Rat #4

Sure there's room for a little one. You can't leave me out guys.

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Boris fits

I knew there was plenty of space for a third rat in this box. Simples.

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